Can't make this shit up:

'As the 1996 Ford Taurus shot across the bed, it rolled May inside his mattress "like a burrito," protecting him from the force of the accident, May said.

******

You know all that email spam advertising aphrodisiacs? Well, John Hargrave tried 'em all.

"The instructions advised "try applying the entire packet to as much of your upper body as you can cover," but a tiny dab on my neck and wrists was as much as I could bear. I smelled like I had just had sex with each of the Backstreet Boys, starting with AJ and continuing in alphabetical order. Bravely, I went into work smelling like I had been raped by a Muppet."

******

Joy Division/New Order are one of the most influential bands of the past 25 years, and are one of the few bands which make "80s band" a less-than-pejorative term. Not that they've been resting on their laurels--they've released two very good albums in the last five years after taking most of the '90s off.

For the uninitiated, New Order began when Joy Division lead singer Ian Curtis committed suicide in 1980 and the rest of the band decided to leave their old name behind. I'd casually liked New Order for a while before I bought their comeback album Get Ready in 2001. And I posted tracks from their new LP Waiting for the Siren's Call a couple months back. Some key tracks in their history:

Joy Division / "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
Sorry, couldn't find a link to it. I'd never heard this song until a couple months ago, when I got tired of hearing people talk about so I listened to it. And to be honest? Doesn't do it for me. You can see why people compare Ian Curtis to Interpol's Paul Banks though.

New Order / "Bizarre Love Triangle"
You generally hear of "Blue Monday" and this as their two most significant songs, but somehow I'd been aware of this without really knowing what it sounded like. Then I heard it on the radio a couple weeks back and it was really good and I knew it was a New Order song and, yep, that was it.

New Order / "Blue Monday"
Perhaps the most important new wave song ever. But I really don't know what I'm talking about.

*******

Andreas Johnson is a Swedish guy who recorded a great song four years ago that for some reason has only recently seemed to get much publicity stateside. Well I guess being Swedish inevitably delays the possibility of having your shit catch on right away--witness The Hives and Caesars. This is in a Volvo ad, but I actually heard about it first from Ultra. I found a directory with a bunch of Swedish stuff in it.

Andreas Johnson / "Glorious"
It's got "soaring strings" and some "swooning falsetto" (my words). Borderline guilty pleasure type stuff. It sounds like it should be on a James Bond soundtrack.

Kent / "Music Non-Stop"
More Kent stuff. Typically good rock-pop fare from my fave Swedish band.

The Hives / "Main Offender"
The Hives themselves are great, but their music is less so. This is probably the second-best song off Veni Vidi Vicious.

******

Foon's friend Cecil put this link up on Foon's site--it's perhaps the greatest ping-pong point ever.

******

He should have been selling steak.