Thanks for the posts, and happy birthday to Shannon, since Saturday 27 years young...oh, and here are some Conan quotes:

"It's been reported today that Canada is expected to approve a law allowing gay marriage. Of course in Canada, a gay marriage is currently defined as 'any marriage where the husband doesn't watch hockey'."

"According to a worldwide survey, New York City is among the cities least likely to help strangers. Apparently the only time New Yorkers helped a total stranger was when they elected Hillary Clinton to the U.S. Senate."

"McDonald's announced plans to phase out the use of antibiotics in their beef. Which should be simple, they've already phased the beef out of their burgers."

"In Florida, a 90-year-old man just won $16 million dollars in a state lottery. The 90-year-old says he will use the money to set up a charitable foundation to help him remember where he left his pants."

"The Justice Department has barred a group of gay employees from holding their annual gay pride event at the department's headquarters. The move was part of Attorney General John Ashcroft's new 'Don't Ask, Don't Be Gay' policy."

"In a speech today, President Bush said he is considering sending U.S. Troops to Liberia. The President went on to say he won't make his decision until he finds out if it's a real place."

"Britney Spears admitted that she is no longer a virgin in an interview with 'W' magazine. Meanwhile, Christina Aguilera admitted she's no longer a virgin in an interview with 'Duh' magazine."

"Yesterday Vice President Cheney received a clean bill of health from his heart doctors. The doctors said if Cheney keeps to his diet, he should still be in good shape at his next checkup, the day after tomorrow."

"According to USA Today, officials in Hollywood have announced plans for a brand new Museum of Sex. Officials say it will take 6 months to build the main museum and then another year to build the 'Colin Farrell Wing.'"