Random stuff:

Nuns go to prison for much better reasons than priests: http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/07/26/nuns.missile.silo.ap/index.html

What's the largest "casual dining" restaurant chain on earth? Applebees, with more than $800 million in annual sales. Fucking A...I would have hoped there would have been a bigger chain than Applebees. It just seems wrong.

In the three-team trade that sent Brad Miller from the Pacers to the Kings, why does no one seem to care that the Spurs got Hedo Turkoglu and Ron Mercer for Danny Ferry? Is it just me or did the Kings do the Spurs, one of their top rivals in the West, a huge favor with this deal?

I was rejected by American Express for a credit card. Not even a good one, but the Blue card I mentioned a week ago on this blog (yes, the one for young people). I have no credit history, so I can't get a credit card to build one. Oh, cruel irony, how you mock me! Never let your dad tell you that a credit card in college isn't a good thing. Damn you, colonel.

A new study shows that regular pizza eaters (1+ slices a week, ie Frank) have a 34% lower risk of oral cavity and pharyngeal cancer, 59% less risk of esophageal cancer, and 25% less risk of colon cancer. Pizza also reduced the risk of rectal and laryngeal cancer. I have never heard of someone with rectal cancer (is colon cancer a type of this or something?) but Jesus Christ, it doesn't sound pretty. The goodness of pizza evidently has something to do with olive oil and unrefined carbs, so you have to eat real pizza, not just hit up the buffet at Pizza Hut.

A guy in Las Vegas is being charged with a misdemeanor for not having a proper license to sell videos that depict naked women being hunted down by paintballers (who win points by shooting them). He had originally advertised real "Bambi Hunts" for fees betwee $5-10k, only to later admit it was a hoax to generate interest in the videos, which features actors and fake paintballs. Now the mayor of Las Vegas wants to nail the guy for not having the proper license to sell the videos because the whole thing was an "embarrassment to Las Vegas." Um...

In true Olympic Spirit, the city of Athens is increasing the number of brothel permits in the city ahead of the 2004 summer games. The number of brothels with permits will rise from about 200 to 230. Rejoice, Japanese businessmen.

The most impressive athletic accomplishment has to be winning the Tour de France. Is there anyone on earth who is in better shape than Lance Armstrong? What a beast.

The Daily Show is arguably the best 30 minutes on TV. And no one has a higher laughs/minute ratio than Stephen Colbert.

I don't think there's any channel that's more consistently watchable than VH1. "I Love the '80s," the "Pop Culture Icons" shit, etc--none of it is great, but everything's pretty good.

USA has surprisingly good original programming: Monk (with Tony Shalhoub) is a great crime drama/comedy and the Dead Zone (with Anthony Michael Hall! whoa!) is good as well.

I don't really like Bernie Mac as a comedian, but I do like the Bernie Mac show.

As discussed with Carly and Allen, the Pop Culture Icons list on VH1 was entertaining but the rankings were pretty arbitrary. Figure this out: JFK Jr. (24) ranked higher than JFK (32)--what the fuck? JFK Jr.'s death wasn't nearly as cool as his dad's...and oh yeah, his dad was PRESIDENT. And is Bill Clinton (18) also higher than JFK? Come on! JFK set the standard for studly womanizing presidents that all other presidents will be judged against. JFK nailed Marilyn Monroe (ranked 2nd incidentally), Bill nailed an overweight intern. No contest.

Also, it's interesting that in their all-time band rankings, the Stones ranked 1st and the Beatles 2nd, but in the PCI list, the Beatles were 12 and the Stones 25. Hmm.

Bill Maher is still fucking worthless.

I keep missing Reno 911, the new Comedy Central show which stars State members Tom Lennon, Kerry Kenney, and Ben Garant. Wednesdays at 10:30/9:30 central, if you're interested.